he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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