sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
