Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
