Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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