how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
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The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
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He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie