I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
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Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
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We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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