I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize