I wish I could punch you in the face.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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