my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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