she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.