I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.