I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
