My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize