You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
