nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
