i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize