Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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