Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
