i don't like sucking hair
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Randomize
