She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
