That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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