maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
