found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
