she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
