I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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