i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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