We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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