after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
