Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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