Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I wish i was in the wii world.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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