if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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