if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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