Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
