Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
