What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
