i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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