I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
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