Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
