Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
