Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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