Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
