is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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