Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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