Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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