But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
