I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
i need some magic done to my vagina
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
