The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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