i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize
