i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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