He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
