U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
