I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
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I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
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I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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