Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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