i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
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