I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
