ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Randomize
