He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
