She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
