from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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