don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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