Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
