my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
It's shark week go big or go home
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
