put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
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