i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
