Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
