Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize