Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
