I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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