shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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